Contributed by Terry Real

12 Results

The Myth of the Individual

Tapping into the Relational Brain

Current research indicates that we’re not walled-in, freestanding individuals. Our human brains—in fact, most mammals’ brains—are built for... Read more

point-view March 22, 2022

Getting Past You and Me

Cultivating the “Us” in Intimate Relationship

Terry Real is on a mission: leading couples into increased intimacy by moving them beyond a culture of individualism. Read more

Reflections on Rich

Friends Celebrate His Life and Legacy

Sharing how Rich Simon impacted our lives—and the field as a whole. Read more

Symposium Highlight January 29, 2020

Of all the meaningful sessions that take place in a therapist’s office, certain ones stand out. In this Symposium storytelling highlight, couples therapist... Read more

Working with Difficult Men

Where’s the Leverage for Change?

The conflict between an older, more traditional view of masculinity and a newer, more progressive one is the underlying issue in many marriages today. Helping... Read more

The Long Shadow of Patriarchy

Couples Therapy in the Age of Trump

The election of Donald Trump and the resurgence of populism throughout the West were fueled by a renewed pull toward certain notions of traditional... Read more

Rowing to Nowhere

When is Enough Enough?

A therapist shares how to walk with a client couple through to their divorce and then let them go. Read more

Should You Have Leverage Over Your Clients?

Terry Real on Why Male Grandiosity Necessitates Leverage

Terry talks about grandiosity and the destructive behaviors it leads to, thus making leverage a part of the therapeutic process. Read more

Motivating the Resistant Male Client

Terry Real On Why Leverage Is Key With Men

You’ve probably worked with men who’ve been dragged, kicking and screaming, into therapy by their partners. But how do you work with a client who doesn’t... Read more

Joining Through The Truth

Coaching and Our Assumptions

A new breed of therapist believes that it’s disrespectful not to say to clients displaying obnoxious, selfish, or self-defeating behaviors what... Read more

A Matter Of Choice

Deciding: to be Right or be Married?

Do you want to be right or be married? Okay, now pause, think, breathe . . . and choose between First Consciousness and Second Consciousness. Read more

The Awful Truth

Most Men Are Just Not Raised to be Intimate

After the publication of my book, 'I Don't Want to Talk about It,' I started getting calls from people around the United States who wanted help. Naming the... Read more

Terry Real

Terry Real, LICSW, is an internationally recognized couples therapist, speaker, author, and founder of the Relational Life Institute (RLI). His latest bestseller is Us: How to Get Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. He’s also the author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner), the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, and The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work.